By James Fallows
The hoary joke in the literary world, based on Dreams From My Father, was that if things had worked out differently for Barack Obama, he could have made it as a writer. Not as a pro basketball player, which might have been his original fantasy (or pro golfer, despite recent tips from Tiger Woods); or as a game-show host or famous disc jockey, where you can imagine Bill Clinton being a big success; or as commissioner of baseball, the path-not-taken for G.W. Bush; or as a backstage legislative master, like Lyndon Johnson or even Teddy Kennedy. But in nonfiction writing, he coulda been a contender.
He might also be vying for the ever-dwindling number of editor jobs that are available. Three years ago I posted the picture of his hand-edited version of his address to a Joint Session of Congress on health-care reform. Now we get this White House photo of his reworking of last month' inaugural address. Click for a zoomable detailed view.
There are lots of fascinating details and insights from the edits Obama has made here, and from comparison with the final version he delivered six days after this draft. I'll leave most of them for you to find and will mention only one.
As I noted at the time, early in the speech Obama made a very powerful allusion to Lincoln's second inaugural address:
Through blood drawn by lash and blood drawn by sword, we learned that no union founded on the principles of liberty and equality could survive half-slave and half-free.
That line isn't in this draft shown in the picture — at least not the part we can see. But Obama is working toward it with this handwritten insert at the top of the page:
Through blood and toil ____ we learned that no nation founded on these principles could survive half-slave and half-free.
He recognises that "toil" is not right — "blood and toil" would be an allusion to Churchill, not Lincoln — but he also knows that for cadence he needs another word after "blood", where he's crossed out "toil" and left a ___ mark.
At some point between this draft and delivery time he or his assistants figured out that the most elegant approach would be simply to use Lincoln's phrase — and, part of the elegance, just to use it as an allusion, an element of the national heritage Americans either should know or could know, rather than lumbering it with a heavy "in the words of our sixteenth president" attribution. Much as our sixteenth president himself had once used the phrase "a house divided" without having to tell his audience that he was quoting the Bible. There's much to observe in this one image. Thanks to reader KP.
This post was originally published at The Atlantic
22 February 2013