American Review | Global Perspectives on US Affairs

Burn on, big river, burn on

By Jonathan Bradley in Washington D.C.
20 February 2010

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Apparently the Drew Carey Show and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame aren't enough: Forbes has declared the city of Cleveland, Ohio to be the most miserable town in the United States of America. The misery index is a real thing - the unemployment rate added to the inflation rate - but Forbes has got a bit creative and decided to analyse "unemployment, taxes (both sales and income), commute times, violent crime and how [the city's] pro sports teams have fared over the past two years." Because it doesn't matter how nice your job is if you can't go watch the local basketball team win a game every now and then.

Anyway, Cleveland boosters can take comfort from the fact that Forbes' index is a bit more airy-fairy than the cold-hard economic scale (which holds that America is more miserable today than it was at any time in 2009, except for the month of December), but from the sounds of things, Forbes might have made a good call with this one. MSNBC is brutal:

Cleveland nabbed the top spot as a result of poor ratings across the board. It was the only city that fell in the bottom half of the rankings in all nine categories. Many residents are heading for greener pastures. There has been a net migration out of the Cleveland metro area of 71,000 people over the past five years. Population for the city itself has been on a steady decline and is now less than half of it what it was 50 years ago.

Cleveland ranked near the bottom when looking at corruption. Northern Ohio has seen 309 public officials convicted of crimes over the past 10 years according to the Justice Department. A current FBI investigation of public officials in Cuyahoga County (where Cleveland is located) has ensnared more than two dozen government employees and businessmen on charges including bribery, fraud and tax evasion.

On the housing front Cleveland is dealing with thousands of abandoned homes. The city contributed to its foreclosure problem by providing down payments to many people that could not afford homes through the federally funded Afford-A-Home program. Cleveland led by Mayor Frank Jackson sued 21 large investment banks in 2008 who he felt were complicit in the subprime and foreclosure crisis that hit Cleveland hard. A federal judge dismissed the suit last year, but the city is appealing the ruling.

At least the river's no longer on fire, right?

I'm trying to organise a visit to Cleveland, and my friends in the city are protesting life round those parts actually ain't so bad. If I make it up there, I'll let you guys know. And to be fair to Cleveland, I was in Chicago, Forbes' 10th most miserable city, a couple weekends back, and things didn't seem so sorrowful round there, even with temperatures that failed to rise above freezing the entire duration of my stay.

But less flippantly, it's little surprise to see Cleveland on the Forbes list. Though the article's a year old now, this New York Times Magazine article gives a glimpse into how hard the housing crash hit cities like this one, and some of the problems holding back recovery.

But an even worse sign for Cleveland? These days, unlike the '90s, it doesn't even have local rap groups recording tributes to the day the government distributes welfare cheques:

Bone Thugs N Harmony - "1st of tha Month"

Tags: Cleveland

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